Thursday, July 15, 2010

Clean up?


Why is it that you have to clean up one mess just so you can make another? That has been my daily routine since starting this. Seriously, it's been more cleaning up than installing. I had to bring out 8 or 10 tools to install each item and somehow they brought along one or two of their friends. In terms of time spent actually putting something in, it's probably only half an hour or so. Finding the right tools, organizing, arranging, lining up, measuring, and putting everything back where it came from - so I can find it for the next project - is a good 3 hours. If you add to that time spent dealing with the packaging, mess you have to vacuum, wipe, and scrape up.... AND time spent having to run to the store to get what the dumbass sales clerk forgot to tell you that you'd need, you're a good 8 hrs into a half hour project.

Given the above info, I'm left wondering how in the hell we pulled off getting new appliances delivered, installing them myself (ok ok, my brother helped a lot, but still), got my old fridge picked up by relatives, took old stove and dishwasher to one donation place only to be turned away and take them to another.... all in one day? The nerd/geek among us (I'm raising my hand too) will tell you that it's a warping in space time that allows for such things. The same way that women can say "I'll be ready to go in just a second" and 45 mins. later your jingling your keys as she walks down the go to Walmart. Most men will argue with me, but the same theory holds true for football time. There's 0:01:32 left on the clock with a 8 point spread but somehow that game will go on for another 45 mins. without a single shot of the cheerleaders ..... but I digress.

There's also the whole deception of what seems to be "simple and easy" but isn't. Part of this is because every 5 years or so all the appliance manufacturers get together and change the "standard" size. Really??? The standard size of a dishwasher is suddenly 3/4 inch larger than the one I just pulled out??? The standard depth of a stove is suddenly half an inch more??? Don't even get me started on the "36 inch" fridge. It's a conspiracy I tell ya. In any case, if you're considering buying a new appliance, and the sales person says "it's a standard size", be afraid... be very afraid. Also, never trust the specs that a really young or really old sales person gives you, especially if either one has a schmucky name like Cody or Greg. Too young and they're guessing because they haven't had experience/time to RTFM, too old and they're past that 5 year re-standardization. Look for someone in their mid 30's to late 40's with a bland name like Mike or Bill. Oh, and remember your old shop teacher... the one that was missing a finger? Yea, him. The most important thing he told you was to measure twice and cut once, but what he should have told you (and didn't) is that when it comes to color, ASK A WOMAN!!!

Before/after pictures are soon to come.... just to keep you interested.

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